A Mistake that Many New Horse Owners and Trainers Make and What to do about it

DSC_7074My tip for the week: If you are new to the game of horses, and you have a horse, make sure that your horse has other horses for company. It is cruel for a horse not to be kept with other horses. I mention this only because many people just starting out with horses would not necessarily know this. Nothing wants to be separated from their friends or from an environment that brings them well-being. Even if you only own one horse, it is good to keep him in an environment that has other horses around.

If you are new to my blog and new to horses:

What I am about to share with you might give you some food for thought and empower your approach with your horse. It might also answer some questions about what makes your horse tick. Today’s blog will get you acquainted with my method and how I approach the training of horses.

For my students that know my method:

Today’s blog will serve as an outline and a reminder of what you have learned. I hope it will also open your imagination to support you wherever you are right now in the training of your horse. The story about finding a horse in your back yard, that I will share with your shortly, I use to guide me while I am working on a new approach in the training of horses. It might do the same for you too.


A mistake that many new horse owners and trainers make and what to do about it:

A mistake that many horse owners sometimes make is that they get an untrained horse so they can learn together with their horse. It does seem that it would be the natural way to train and make a connection. Then they find that the journey doesn’t unfold as they would have hoped. Green on green doesn’t usually work and when it does, it is a gift from God. It means you have a talent or a knack that cannot be denied.

Looking at this situation, which many new horse owners face, is an opportunity for me to share some insight around horse behavior. It is usually when humans try to develop a bond with a horse with little or no experience that the horse takes on the leadership role. This happens because the human does not set rules for the horse to follow on social politeness in the beginning as the bond is forming. Instead, the human learns to put up with the conditions the horse sets for them. When this happens, they create a horse that is not easy to train that takes even more skill to fix.

A Person New to Horses:

Jazz and Carolyn bondingThe person new to horses is usually afraid of disturbing the bond or getting on the wrong side of the horse, which then causes a horse to start taking gross advantage of them. Because horses have a pecking order behavior, if you do not take on a leadership position, they will. A horse needs his character shaped to be respectful and it is beneficial to know how to do this in the right way. Many times, a person believes that the horse would naturally be willing and kind from the love and care they offer to their horse, when actually, the care they offered has the opposite effect.

My method is a good way to develop your horse to work around your leadership rather than you having to work around your horse.  This will help you in the training of horses, it will enhance the bond, connection, communication ability, and politeness, both in the horse and yourself. From the relationship you have built, you will develop a horse that is easily trained.

Using the Waterhole Rituals you train the horse while the bond is growing, just like a herd of horses would do with an individual horse. The herd shapes the horse’s attitude in how to follow the leader and how to be polite by learning how to respect personal space of other horses and to pay attention to where the lead horse is at all times. This is all part of the bonding process horses go through to be in a herd where harmony and unity exist. Following the Waterhole Rituals develops the horse to respond to you in the same manner.

Horse Training is not Rocket Science:

Horse training is an art and so is growing the bond and respect. At times, you will not know exactly what to do next but you figure it out. If you enjoy this challenge, it is a marker that you have what it takes to train a horse. If you can get comfortable with feeling off balance and clumsy, it will help you to grow in your learning process. Just like a dance. When we start out, we have two left feet, so expect it. When you can work with your two left feet, evolution will take you to the dance.

A Horse Story:Magical Horse

This story will allow your imagination to help you in the training of your horse and the importance of staying safe. Just imagine this: let’s say one morning, you look out your widow into your backyard to discover a horse in it. Now let’s say this horse is the first one to show up here on earth.Upon seeing this creature, you fall in love with it instantly. When you went out to the backyard, you found that this creature was dangerous and you had to retreat back to your house, but you were still in love with it. As the days went on, you discovered that when this horse was asleep, you could walk across the yard safely and be with it for a short time.The only thing you had working for you was your common sense and your fascination for this amazing creature.

You also found out that when he was occupied with his morning grazing, you could be with him. As time went by, he learned that you were very respectful of his space and he had stopped chasing you around as much. You have also found out that now you can move him away from you instead of the other way around and you can see that this creature is showing you that he can be trained and that his disposition is getting better.

People came to your house to see him and everyone respected you in what you knew of this creature. You became the expert in how to deal with horses. No one questioned your knowledge and you now feel you have a strong footing to continue growing your connection. If you have a horse that you know nothing about and you start Sharing Territory with the Waterhole Rituals, you will lean how to approach and train your horse much like the lady did in this story. This next story will guide you in how to evaluate your innate talent for training horses.

True Story:

I got a call for a man in France that wanted to buy my DVD. He had just purchased 5 young untrained Friesian Stallions and he had no experience with horses. He did not want to order my DVD if he could not train a horse from what the DVD had to offer him. He wanted my opinion - if I thought that from my DVD, he could train these stallions. At first, I thought he was unrealistic and possibly insane, but I did not let on and set out to find out about his natural ability to train them.I asked him some questions:

horsesI asked him if he had a cat. He said “yes.” I asked him if his cat had good house manners. He said “yes.” I asked him if he had a dog. He said “yes.” I asked him if the dog was well trained. He said “yes.” I asked him how is marriage was. He said “happy.” I asked him about his children. He said “they were all grown up, happy and doing well in their lives.” I asked him how he gets along with people in general. He said “well.”

His responses pointed out to me that he had an extreme leadership ability and that my DVD would most likely work for him. He ordered it and got back in touch with me to tell me that all his horses were doing well and he thanked me for my DVD. The more of these questions you can answer to the positive, the more you can work with bigger challenges. The trick is to be honest in evaluating your strengths. I can help you do this through my blog and my programs. If nothing is working out for you in your relationship with your horse and you want to turn this around, you are optimistic by nature or wanting to become optimistic, then my program will help you on your journey to train your horse and be able to shape his character to fit in harmony with you. Through the process, you will learn how to develop a working bond.I started thinking that there are people who are successful trainers and whose life is mess.

Let’s say the cat is clawing the curtains off the widows because the dog inside is trying to kill the cat, the child is depressed and unhappy because no love is coming their way and there is soon to be a divorce, but the trainer rides like the wind. This in my eyes is not a good reason to have a horse in your life; the horse is not enhancing your overall life like it could be. It is better that the training we share with our horses be a guidepost to create harmony throughout our daily lives. What we learn from our horse should cause us to focus on our intentions to create well-being for us and everyone around us. If you approach your horse in this manner, this will just naturally occur for you without having to work on it.


From this approach, you are not hiding from life through making a horse perform for you because you feel you have something missing in your own life. Looking to know how to achieve harmony with all things, wherever we go, wakes up the spirit and brings a greater meaning to life and helps the planet to have more peace in it. The empathy you pass on to others grows like the moon's influence on the ocean, just from walking your walk and keeping your intentions from your heart.If you are new to my blog, please feel free to write to me and ask for my guidance or inspiration. I am here to help you.It is a good idea to pick the right teaching horse on your journey to becoming a trainer of horses. Aggressive horses and people who do not like to lead would not be a good combination. What needs to be present in all horse and human relationships is an inherent compatibility somewhere between them, or it is just not going to work.

I love how horses have the ability to change the character of the person to be more capable of achieving their own personal empowerment as well as to grow empathy for all living creatures. I think of horses as being a college education for life and to recognize what you can do and what you can’t do. This keeps you on the red, red road of life and helps us choose realistic dreams that are truly achievable.

My style of coaching is to inspire and guide you in finding the best part of yourself and to bring out the best side of your horse so you may dance in unity and harmony together. Horses give us the ability to follow the serenity prayer effortlessly, easily and naturally from the teaching they offer us.

The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Looking for more comments on the blog. Have a great weekend. Look out for new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.

Warmly, Carolyn